The only medicine is truth.

It is potentially the most difficult part of dealing with being motherless; loneliness.  

Have you ever noticed when you are in love that your body changes?  Being an alpha socially creates change too.  There is actually a long list of phenomenon that creates a physiological change in the body.  I like to think of them as switches.  Puberty is one of the easiest to realize.  A switch flips in the body and it changes accordingly.  There are many social situations that change us physically.

Some of these switches cause self destruction.  Feeling like one has no place in the world is such a phenomenon.  These switches are the primary reason for addictions.  Most drug addicts are lost in life, their physical body changes, and down the path of self destruction one goes.  There is a long list too, that causes this self-destruction switch to engage.  Being lost in life is not the only one.

This fact of human life creates a huge problem for those of us who don’t have that sense of family.  We are constantly fighting with our own body to survive.  It is quite a conundrum.  One has to convince themselves that they are worthy of life despite all the physical facts that say otherwise.  Culture and society is forever wishing to rid itself of the motherless child.  This is the basis for what Kahlil Gibran says, “Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.”  Those without mothers and fathers fight for their lives every day.  Nothing builds character like that kind of suffering.

Society piles it on, expecting us to be like those with mothers when we are not even capable of knowing what that is.  Casting us even further into a physiological separateness death spiral.  The feeling of loneliness never abates.  Lost in life.  It’s unimaginable.  I’ve imagined it so many times, having a mother, and it never comes to be.  I’ve only ever returned to my loneliness when the illusion crashes to pieces.  That is the price of praying for the truth.  

How would I ever truly find my own sense of self always relying on another?  Always believing a lie? The sense of self that would have come from such a relationship is unknowable to me.  When a mother forsakes her child there is no recovery of that motherhood in the child.  Who but our own mother could love us in that way?  It’s an unseen thing.  Once that failure is imposed on a child it is forever after as if cast in stone. The only way out is to turn off the switch.  To bring about such a state of mind that defies society is a difficult task.  It requires standing all alone in the energy of the masses and being okay with that fact.  Rare is that individual.  

Did you catch it?  The longing for a mother forced on me by this culture is a real thing.  I long ago quit counting how many times I was looked down upon with horror for not loving the woman who gave birth to me.  Society has forever blamed me for what was done to me.  Forever wished for me to defy my self.  If I was born into a different culture where everyone was motherless would it even be an issue?  The cultural pressure to be some one way is a very real thing.  It is practically assumed that everyone has a mother and if you don’t no one wants to face that fact.  Hardly anyone knows what it is.  When I am near such people I can feel it.  It is a real thing.

So why did the poet say, “the most massive characters”?  It is because anyone who overcomes such an ordeal must have such a character, or they do not survive.  There is no middle ground.  The casualties of this phenomenon are untold millions, correction; billions.  It is overwhelming how many do not make it.  To overcome it requires one to have a sense of self that stands alone in the world.  All the while, while attempting to build this sense of self, the world is ever trying to force it to conform.  Overcoming this forces one to be different than all the rest by that same sheer force; it is do or die.  Those who never know life without family, without a mother or father, are under the illusion that they are not alone.  Their entire lives are built on a lie.  Being motherless forces the truth into the mind, or it destroys it.  

In spiritual life, success is measured in ones awareness of the truth.  Not material possessions.  Not fame or power, but recognition of truth.  The truth is we are all alone in a certain way, no matter what one believes, yet we are all one.  You who have a mother, she could be taken at any moment.  Your fathers could cease to be at any second.  Then what?  You will have two choices; face the truth of loneliness and battle your own body, or fill the whole with something else quite temporary and never realize the truth.  It requires a massive character to live life with the switch flipped.  It requires a massive character to undo it.  

Unlearning culture, stepping out of culture is the path.  It's the only remedy I found that worked.

Should you ever see one suffering, know they are alone.  They are lost else they would not be self-destructing.  Know that they are living a lie.  It is easy to condemn the drug addict, the inmate, or the sick and corrupt, but you see those things are only the symptom; those things are the running nose, but not the cold; the sore throat, but not the virus.  The cold is tearing at their hearts.  The virus is destroying them.   The only medicine is truth.  Only the truth can set them free.  

Look how many have mothers, yet still self-destruct; they are living a lie.  

For some of us, it is the single greatest source of our sense of self; that we survived it at all.